I have several clients that I work with that have chronic, complex trauma. While processing with one of them this week I became aware of a pattern of thinking that is common with them and quickly realized that it applied to most of my clients with similar issues. We were talking about some difficult things going on in their life and I noticed that they seemed stuck focusing on an ideal outcome and were attaching a lot of hope to it, while also experiencing a lot of dread related to possible worse case scenarios, all the while focusing on those things that were outside of their control, leaving them feeling like a victim of circumstance and that life was unfair or unjust…
The Trauma Pattern:
- Hoping for best case scenario
- Dread and avoidance of worst case scenarios
- Focus on things outside of their own control
I realized as we talked through this pattern that this was why the individual often experienced such an emotional rollercoaster, bouncing back and forth between polar opposites of best and worst and feeling like they didn’t have any say in directing it. The client recognized the pattern as we talked about it and agreed that for them this was how they went about life…
I have become a tremendous fan of mindfulness as I have witnessed firsthand the tremendous impact that it can have on people’s lives. We spent just a very brief time talking about being mindful of this pattern and instead staying grounded in the present…
The replacement Pattern:
- What is here and now?
- What can I control in what is going on? What action can I take?
Small interventions like this can make a world of difference in creating a sense of stability, control, and acceptance in life. I know that this is a small example but it wasn’t something I have ever seen someone take the time to acknowledge in quite this way and I just wanted to share in hopes that it might resonate with someone and be of use.